Volchok: The Motorcycle Diaries 111
by CocaineLoveFrenzy
Summary: Kevin has trouble sleeping, nightmares plaguing his mind... the trouble with fate is, you can't change it. Takes place shortly before the car accident... Volchok and Marissa Fan fic.


**Nothing Lasts Forever**

Kevin woke up, silently, his eyes opened and he just gazed into darkness. His eyes begin to adjust and his head quickly cleared, the nightmare he was having faded as soon as he was just about to remember it all. He could smell gasoline faintly. Marissa was lying next to him, breathing softly. She looked beautiful. He always wanted to tell her that. That she looked beautiful when she slept. So at peace. But he knew it would come off as corny and cliched and Kevin didn't like to do corny or cliched.

Carefully, Kevin peeled off the sheets and got up. He checked the time, it was about 2am. Had he only really been sleeping for 3 hours? The time spans have been shrinking as the nights went on. He leaned down and gave Marissa a soft kiss on her exposed cheek.

"It's a bit late to be kissing my ass don't you think?" Marissa lay there still. Kevin froze.

"Babe, I thought you were asleep..." Kevin remained still.

"Are you going somewhere?" Marissa asked.

"Just to the bathroom. Go back to sleep babe." Kevin rubbed her back reassuringly and got up.

The bathroom light hung low from the ceiling, the top of his head always just missing it by a few inches. The brightness stunned him momentarily as his eyes further adjusted to the light. Kevin relieved himself and turned to the sink. Head down, he washed his hands. He looked up, and saw a reflection of a person that he didn't recognise. The person in the mirror stared back at him with the same questioning gaze. An infinite amount of thoughts crossed his mind. Too many thoughts, too many feelings and emotions. They overwhelmed him. Racing through his head and heart at 100 miles per hour. Kevin looked at the reflection one last time before he switched off the light.

He trudged toward the sofa and sat down. His tin of weed sat there open, bong just sitting a few inches away. In the dim shadowed light coming from the window, he packed it and blazed up the cone. One hit was all he needed. His mind slowed down to normal speed, and he could think clearly again.

Marissa lay there listening to the bubbling from Kevins bong. This was happening way too often. Not the drug use, even Kevin kept that under control. It was the erattic sleep patterns. Everyone sometimes mumbles in their sleep, but after Kevin mumbled incoherent words, he would start moving around, alot. Like his nightmares were real. After awhile he would just wake up panting, breathing heavily, and he would look so confused, like he had no idea where he was. Marissa often tried to speak to him when he was like this. But Kevin would just stare at her confused and disorentated and then go back to sleep. after a couple of minutes, Kevin usually woke up with no recollection of what just happened. He would go to the bathroom and go back to bed or watch some tv. It only started happening about a week ago. Marissa thought it would pass soon. What was he dreaming about? Can he even remember? She got up, it was a warm night and they were making love earlier. She didn't have any clothes on. She moved around in the darkness trying to find one of Kevins t-shirts.

Kevin packed the bowl again and reached for his lighter, a slender hand quickly snatched it away from his finger tips.

"Couldn't sleep too huh?" Kevin smiled.

"No, I could. You just woke me up." Marissa was being a smart ass, smiled back at him politely. Kevin sat on the sofa in his underwear, his left arm on the armrest. Marissa slid on to the sofa, resting her head on the inside of his elbow. She was comfortable there. if she could feel his warmth, him breathing, she was comfortable. Marissa reached down and sparked the lighter, she pointed it at the bowl. Kevin put his mouth on the bong and drew back slowly until his lungs were full. Marissas arm went limp as Kevin leaned in for what looks like a kiss. She pressed her open mouth to his and inhaled as Kevin exhaled. As the smoke filled her lungs, she wrapped her arms around him tighter, taking it all in. Marissa hated bongs and prefered to smoke jays or smoke from Kevin. She opened her eyes as she exhaled. She melted into his arms.

"What do you dream about?" Marissa asked clearly stoned.

"I dunno." Kevin replied. It was a dead response.

Marissa knew by Kevins tone that he didn't want to talk about it anymore... 'like that's ever stopped me.' she thought to herself.

"I know you don't want to talk about it..." She started,

"Then stop asking." Kevin ended. "C'mon Marissa, I really don't want to get into it right now."

"You mumble things in your sleep you know." Marissa said mysteriously, trying to bait him.

"I do? What do I say?" Kevin felt defensive, but a part of him was curious to know what was happening in his nightmares, because he honestly couldn't remember much from them. Sometimes Kevin thinks he remembers seeing pieces of metal being thrown around, other times he feels that his heart is breaking, even though it was just a dream. They were the only bits of information or feelings he could roughly collect concerning these nightmares.

"Well, I can't actually understand you..." Marissa said honestly. Kevin laughed.

"If I knew what was happening in my head, you know I would tell you right?" Kevin asked.

"Of course." Marissa replied, then she waited for him to reveal more.

"But these dreams or nightmares, whatever they are they disappear as soon as I wake up. Just like that, they're gone... but, my heart, I dunno, it feels... anyway, Marissa, if I ever lost you, I don't know what I would do. I can't ever lose you Marissa, ever. I love you too much." Kevin couldn't look her in the eyes, his mind was trying to grab his thoughts as they bounced around his mind.

Marissa gazed at him, watching him think, a girl head over heels in love. She knew he meant those words. Kevin made her feel more loved than anyone else. She sat up and wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closely into her chest.

"Kevin, you're not going to lose me okay? Ever. I have never loved anyone the way I love you." She held him close.

"How long do you think we'll last?" Kevin whispered.

"Forever." Marissa replied.


End file.
